“Nature, time, and patience are the three great physicians.” (Proverb Quotes: www.thinkexist.com)

June 9, 2008 at 3:08 pm | Posted in breast cancer, cancer, health | Leave a comment

Well, the quote I have up here is something I have to tell myself every day. Not that I’ve gotten any better at heeding it. I am not a patient patient.

Lately I’ve been getting stronger, as I can tell by my increased endurance on the treadmill. We also bought a Wii Fit and I confess I’m now officially OK with video games. I’ve always managed to keep them out of the house because I don’t want to encourage sloth and video obsession. But the Wii sucked me in at a friend’s house, and now the Wii Fit is proving to be a lot of fun and my undoing. I’m obsessed!

That being said, I’m still having strange symptoms and a serious issue with acid reflux. Chemo brain insured that I missed my GI appointment, as I wrote down the time and date of my appointment, but not the doctor’s name. Um, good one. I called 4 offices this morning and none of them had me down. UGH. That’s what I get for relying on the old confirmation call 24 hours in advance. I never got one.

I am just tired of not feeling “all better” and I’m beginning to wonder if I ever will. Every side effect has me convinced the cancer is back–in my toe, my jaw, wherever. I’ve been eating more greens and fresh, whole, raw foods than ever before. I’m doing Wii Yoga. But I’m still feeling crummy and wake up every morning around 3am and just lie there for a good hour or two.

I’m just done. The mind-body connection has never been more real, or more frustrating for me. When I was really ill my mind was too overwhelmed to do much. Now that my mind is in semi-working order, it’s incredibly frustrating to have my body not functioning for me. I wonder if it ever will again, or if I’m now going to be prematurely old, relying on multiple medications and “procedures” in some vain hope of being really, truly, well.

Nature might be a great physician, but my cynical mind always remembers that cancer, like botulism, is perfectly natural. It’s also deadly.